I know I Haven’t been around since before the weekend. I desperately needed a weekend, so I took it for my birthday weekend. Monday and Tuesday have been all about just getting ready for this enormous move before the 15th.

After much discussion, it’s been decided it’s best if my mom stays with my sister until I have everything settled. It puts us both more at ease, and she’s just not as bowled over by composting toilets as I am. It will be better when it’s presented as a finished, functioning, good looking, fine smelling thing, in a room that is well sealed and largely devoid of creepy crawlies. Otherwise I just know she’ll hold it until the end of time.

I also had to have myself a good old ethical dilemma about whether or not to make an Amazon wish list.  And I have decided, fuck it. This move almost guarantees I will be buying local and making my own shit almost constantly, everything on the damn list is to help me be self sufficient, and it’s the easiest way to say “these are the things I need.” Otherwise I have to make a very confusing list that is a mix of FB pages, because every business here is on FB, and Craigslist ads (although…I may make a CL wishlist*, too, because it’s cheaper and helps locals. But I wasn’t sure about being so obvious about where I live. It’s not exactly a secret but… I don’t necessarily want to repeat it a lot. Although it genuinely hinders my writing trying to avoid it. God, fascism is tiresome). Very few things on it are things I would be upset to have many of –so there is always the option for the consumer to decide for themselves where to buy said item.  If there are repeats, awesome! More power! More outdoor storage bins! More duct tape! Multiple sheds? It’s an embarrassment of sheds! And I’ll take them!*

So, yeah, it’s an Amazon home warming wish list –but if you don’t want to deal with the ethics of shopping either, but want to get me a gift, you can just get bones!

And, of course, gifts translate into bones as well.  As always:)

I’m a big giant mix of anxiety and hope about what’s to come. With what is on that list, I am certain to make an excellent start. Like…it basically takes care of everything that’s basic: food, clothing care, shelter, storage, water, power, cooking, building, privacy, safety, and vroom vroom. The pillars of what should be American life. Are there other things I want? Sure. Are there things on the list I can make do without….for a time. The one that looks most frivolous is a (cheap) gazebo. But I will be living in a 10′ by 12′ shed to start (Damn that untowable boat. Now I’m on the hunt for another. I’m hooked on the idea…). Which means I’m mostly gonna be outdoors. My kitchen will be outdoors. I want to give it a roof. Do I need an outdoor storage bench? Yes. I need 12. That’s where all my shit is gonna go.

My land is full of trees that make it difficult to build traditionally, right away, but that provide an incredible canopy of Douglas firs. I have been dreaming for a long time of making a liveable garden–where outside and inside are basically the same. Living archways that connect small rooms. Hedged in spaces for a private open air bathing and eating. Cob garden walls with hidden storage. It’s not as sunny with those tall trees for everything I want to do (it’s got its pockets. And some of the smaller trees may come down for wood, as well), but it does have natural walkways and just enough slope to be interesting, and just enough flat parts for me to breathe a sigh of relief.

I’ve also been doing a lot of writing and working to line up the rest of the season for SmutMag. Process will largely be sitting for a spell until I’m able to pick it up again. Right now, I am focusing on Halloween, and the reintegration of my alter ego, Ms Marla, the dominatrix. Only she is transitioning from the world of phone sex to the world of horror, which, spoiler alert, is exactly the same thing, when you get right down to it. I’m very excited about this show, which will be a complete 180 from Process. Where Process was gritty and grungy and real, the Halloween show promises to be sexy, sensational and as pop as I can muster…in a twisted horror show way. It will be very fun:)

But all of that is on hold until I get my entire life, literally, physically, in order.

There is so much work ahead of me. God, I cannot wait!

If you would like to buy me a home warming gift and give yourself the gift of BONES in the process, check out my wishlist. It’s the difference between me being naked and afraid, and me being naked and working it.

Give gifts and get bones.

*two things not on the list, but which I need more than anything else are 5 gallon buckets and 55 gallon barrels. But on Amazon they were more expensive than I felt good about. You can give me the gift of buckets when you give yourself the gift of BONES! I’ll just get them on CL.