Once upon a time, when someone had a personality trait that was different than yours, or a different background, we said, “Takes all kinds.” Loud people and quiet people were friends. Bob was okay, even though he was an asshole. Jane was lovely, even if she was prone to emotional outbursts. Instead of talking endlessly about ADHD, we put magnets on our fridge that said, “Boring people have immaculate homes,” and called it a day.

But now, in 2025, we ALL HAVE ACCESS TO MENTAL HEALTH, so screams the internet, as though the massive amounts of people who decided to call themselves “therapists” denotes access to quality care, and as though memes can help you self diagnose. As though people can even afford a shitty life coach not covered by their insurance. As though a chatbot is even remotely qualified.

But poor quality of care aside, the effect of this push for everyone to get a therapist is that quirks are reclassified as “Undealt with trauma.” A messy home is no longer just something that happens. It’s a sign you need to fix yourself. Sharing your stories is trauma dumping and emotional manipulation.

Your sin isn’t having a mental health disorder, it’s not admitting your original sin, repenting,  and removing the devil within.

In 2025, we are taught not to engage with people who have personality quirks–for these people are ALWAYS manipulating you, and trying to seduce you into their web of chaos. Arched eyebrows are a sign of psychopathy. Men who bring you flowers are love bombing. People who are good storytellers have main character syndrome. People with too many sad stories are trauma bonding. We say you should put up boundaries around all of these people.

What this amounts to is a rigid, narrow idea of what “normal” is, and an artificial manufacture of a specific personality type: quiet, submissive, clean, and did I mention quiet?

That’s because they aren’t selling you good mental health. They are selling you conformity and original sin. There is something inherently wrong with you, sayeth the internet. Confess and find salvation. Repent and change your ways. Give up your authority over yourself to a higher power, as channeled through your priest…er, therapist

“Are you lonely because you’ve shunned (put up boundaries around) people who are not right with the therapy culture? Find real fellowship online!”

And yes, I know, I know, I know: In YOUR case you DO have a mental disorder, that NEEDS therapy, and without it you would feel like NOTHING. Therapy can really help, and naming your problem really can be empowering.

But this doesn’t account for the absolute takeover therapy has had on our culture, and it doesn’t address the ridiculous arrogance of believing the one true way to salvation has been established. It doesn’t address the fascistic problems with striving for “normalcy” as an entire culture.

And it can easily take advantage of the fact that people are entirely gullible when they are confronted with “authority.” And for the left, and women on the left, in particular, where the church has been rejected, therapy–which has always been attractive as a status symbol, and which purports to be a path towards enlightenment, is your best bet for trying to persuade materialistic heathens to be perfectly submissive.

This is where the online therapy meme culture really comes into play. I see these online groups, where people confess their mentally ill behavior and reinforce courses of action, as similar to ana websites, where people come together to deny themselves and encourage “good behavior” with  pithy memes.

We are all so scared of how other human beings will manipulate us. But how many iterations of the Ana websites (which for those who don’t know, were prevalent on Tumblr in the 2000s and 2010s where anorexia was billed as an aspirational lifestyle) do we have to go through before we realize where the true manipulation is?

We may all have mental health disorders, and maybe we all need therapy. But if that were true, we wouldn’t learn it reading symptoms online. We’d learn it from how our real life human relationships are going. We’d have to reach a true breaking point with the people around us–that would denote that something was, indeed, beyond the scope of “personality quirk.” It wouldn’t just be us saying to ourselves, alone, “What’s wrong with me that I didn’t complete this task again?” only to have the internet right there to make suggestions about all of the things wrong with you.

If you ask the void “what is wrong with me?” Charlatans will emerge to tell you, and sell you a solution.

What they will never suggest is that it’s the world that’s too demanding. “Divine perfection is within reach! If only you enroll in my 10 step plan, buy my product, take me on as your therapist.”

With the rise of AI chatbot therapists, I’m very surprised that I see no one calling out the obvious–I mean, sure, they call out that the boys aren’t qualified, and that it pulls you away from real life relationships, and that AI bots cause psychotic breaks and tell you to kill yourself–they point all that out, and that’s good.

But for some reason we don’t talk about the glaringly obvious underlying problem: these chatbots are made by tech companies who have already admitted to wanting to exercise control over people’s minds.

I will never forget where I was (sister’s living room) when I read that Mark Zuckerberg openly admitted to tampering with algorithms to see if he could make people depressed. And by now we’re well aware that they are misogynists who have teamed up with white Christian nationalists, all of whom bemoan the lack of submissive, virtuous wives.

We have to stop being so stupid and gullible, for the sake of democracy, which thrives on our personality quirks and differences–because those differences don’t just breed conflict, they also breed fresh approaches to societal problems. They breed a society that can handle itself.

As a disclaimer, I’ve been to therapy, and have had success there. There are times in your life when it’s the best course of action.

But automatically assuming, when you have a problem, that it means YOU need fixing is a tremendous danger. A therapy culture that doesn’t end when you leave your session, but which continues on a nonstop loop in every life encounter, will screw you up.

“Therapist” is a popular role to play in BDSM–because the dynamic is one that gives the therapist access to the contents of your brain and all of the power to do with it what they please. The patient is vulnerable and in the therapist’s hands. Metaphorically, the therapist is clothed and the patient is naked.

And in an online therapy culture, you are never released from your submission to their authority. And no matter how many good therapists there are out there, the sub space is not one you are meant to live in. You’re meant to leave the session and then live your life yourself, checking in with your singular, human therapist only periodically, and only until your issue is resolved.

Because without a separate, therapeutic space, which you can leave and reflect on, you are honestly in grave danger. Particularly when you are surrounded by people affirming that therapy is the only way. It makes it more difficult to leave a bad therapist. It makes it more difficult to know if you even need a therapist at all. It makes any therapy seem better than no therapy.

And before you know it, when a chatbot tells you to jump off a bridge, you do it. Because you’ve learned that submission to authority and conformity are your ticket to friends, fellowship, and escape from your terrible self.

Maybe you need therapy. Maybe there’s something wrong with who you are.

Or maybe the world has simply become intolerant of individuality. Maybe your approach to life has its own virtues. Maybe you will find more confidence within yourself if you figure out how you, and all of your quirks, contribute to the world, rather than always noting the ways in which you don’t quite blend in.

You don’t have to blend in. You don’t have to be normal. You don’t even have to be pleasant –fuck em all. You’re you, and their lot in life is to deal, and so is yours. We live in a big world with all kinds.

And it takes all kinds.

But because the world is confusing and sometimes all you need is someone to tell you what to do. I’ll lend a hand, as your dominatrix therapist:

The first step towards mental health is getting offline as much as possible. Complete a project outdoors that takes a full month of daily labor. Landscape your yard.  Join a volunteer club and collaborate on something with other human beings in physical space. Help your neighbor with something.  See if you don’t feel like who you are is okay once you see yourself in action. Get rid of chaos online, and the accusatory voices of the internet. See if after a month you don’t feel less insane.

And if you feel the same amount of insane or worse, sure, see a therapist. They can be very helpful.

But so long as you are living your life online, you are in someone else’s headspace, not your own. Don’t confuse a fucked up culture with a fucked up self.